relationships self-love Jun 19, 2019

It’s nothing new, really. It has been stated a thousand times before, in a hundred different ways, and yet we still ask, and we wonder.
We doubt and fear, and often we just don’t believe in love.

Love, to some, is a far away ship that never comes in, or a star too far to dream of.
It is “the dream afraid of waking” and “the heart afraid of breaking.”

So we don’t take the chance, or we keep our guard up when we do.

Will my heart be broken? Will my soul be crushed?
Will someone take and not give back?
Will I be a fool for love? Will I lose the love … or lose myself in it?
Will I love too much, or too little? Will I know how to receive it?
Will I even know HOW to love? 
Will someone leave once they see my shadows? Will they stay? 
Will I be able to live with THEIR shadow?
Will I be committed enough, independent enough, lovable enough, dependent enough, brilliant enough, or ENOUGH, period?!”
Will love hurt?

The questions bounce around in our heads, while our hearts say, “You need to love and be loved.”

And so we know we ought not give up completely.
(The heart knows, you know)
The real truth is that there is uncertainty.
We face disappointments in relationships, especially close, intimate ones,
and the answers to all the daunting questions point to that uncertainty.

And that is why we shy away from this thing we call LOVE.

The secret to everlasting true love is nothing new, but we miss it all the time.
So I offer it here in a series of questions …

What is more attractive than someone who possesses great self-love?
What is more refreshing than the quality of being so at ease with self that love emanates from you?
What is more compelling than the quality of soft, contented self-confidence?
What type of person do you love to be around more than one who embodies inner strength, courage, and passion?
What is more sustaining and nurturing for the soul than the qualities of self-assurance, self-acceptance, deep self-awareness, and self responsibility?

The secret to everlasting true love lies in the power of self-love and really has little to do with anybody other than yourself.
It will never depend on anyone or anything outside of YOU because you have the power of love right there inside of you

Find a reason to deeply love YOU (and there are many, otherwise you would not be unique).
Develop and nurture within yourself the habit of noticing lovely things in life, in yourself, and in others. Nurture the audacity to be so in love and excited about life that you say to yourself, “I wouldn’t be surprised if FIFTY people fell in love with me!”

Then watch the whole universe conspire to draw more of that same love TO you.

Decide to not “look for love” because love already IS!
YOU are love. You are lovable, and magnificent just as you are.

It is this embodiment of inner knowing that makes you instantly attractive and compelling.
And it IS everlasting because with this level of self-love, it will never matter who leaves, who stays, and who feels uncomfortable in your presence.

It is this depth and power of love that fills your own tank so full that you are an overflowing, radiant love magnet. And none of the following matter:

Gender, sexual orientation, physique, personality, emotional stability, past failures, successes, education level, race, faith, intelligence, or your preferences of any kind.

Do we NEED love?
Yes, but that need is anything but needy.
It is a force so natural and so beautiful that it beckons us to BE love, embrace love, and embody love so that we are a walking love tank that naturally attracts love TO us always and in all ways.

Those who love themselves will always feel loved and will always attract love, hold love, keep love, cherish love, and offer love continuously because they show up as love.

Refuse to worry, wonder, or marinate in any of the fear-based questions about love.

Their answers point to the uncertainties. Let them go – all of them - and decide to be the love you already are, straight from the love that designed your beautiful essence.

Don’t fear love. Life is too short for fear.
There are too many people waiting for YOU to BE love.
There are too many waiting to love you!

- Verna Bowen